Solitude
by Kristina Andersson
Summary: Ares, just slightly annoyed. A/J implied songfic


Title: Solitude  
  
Author: Kris Andersson  
  
Shanna_se@yahoo.se  
  
Archive: List archives. Anyone else? Sure! It would be nice if you let me know though, so I can feel proud. :)  
  
Rating: R for a bad word  
  
Pairing: J/A  
  
Category: Song fic  
  
  
  
My kitchen sink strikes again! I can't believe I've written a song fic but the song haunted me and just screamed out Ares so here we are…  
  
The song is by a Swedish band called The Ark. One of my favorites. In my humble opinion, if any band is worthy of an international career, it's the Ark.  
  
For a closer look at THE ARK go to http://fullspeed.to/ark  
  
Hugs to Christine for beta reading.  
  
Solitude  
  
  
  
You, who stole my solitude  
  
By Ola Salo  
  
  
  
  
  
Ares growled and threw another fireball at the wall and continued pacing. This was intolerable. He was the God of War, damn it! Not some weak hearted mortal. If Aphrodite were behind this, she would die, slow and painfully. To Tartarus with Zeus' decree! She would fry!  
  
The more rational part of his mind told him that he couldn't do that, no matter what. Not to the mother of his godly children, not to one of the few equals he had that tolerated him. Who actually *liked* and respected him, although she had a special way to show respect…  
  
But right now he was too pissed off to listen to that voice. The war part inside him roared. This was unacceptable!  
  
Still pacing, he grabbed a chair and threw it into the wall. It didn't help to calm the fire inside him. This was wrong, it couldn't happen! Not to him. And of all people, that clumsy pathetic excuse for a warrior was the one who'd sneaked through his defenses. It was insulting!  
  
  
  
You who stole my solitude  
  
And expelled me into this mood  
  
- Who permitted you to intrude  
  
so unelegant and rude?  
  
  
  
It had started early. The man was patient, Ares had to admit that. Ever since childhood, the man had been praying to him. And not ordinary prayers, nooo, the man *talked* to him. Told him about his day, thanked him for still being alive. (Didn't the fool know that was up to Hades?) Day out and day in, week after week, year after year.  
  
Strife had had this idea that if you repeated something over and over to a mortal, eventually you could break down his free will and get him to do anything without having to use force or threats. Strife had called it brainwashing. Ares had never bothered since it took a lot of time and patience. But he was starting to suspect that Joxer was using the same principle.  
  
Everyday he had to listen to that voice. He couldn't block it out anymore, no matter how hard he tried. He found himself yearning for another of his little 'chats'.  
  
  
  
You, who haunt me all day long  
  
Who made me write this song  
  
Of how you did me wrong  
  
  
  
And now, he couldn't stand being without him! He didn't find peace in being alone anymore. Those wonderful moments when he was alone, lost in his own thoughts, just relaxing, letting all shields down, was now ruined. That was the part he couldn't forgive.  
  
He needed his solitude! It was his most precious quality. The fact that he didn't need anyone else. That he was most content in his own company. All alone. It was a part of him. Without it, he was surely doomed.  
  
And now this little brat with less sense than an average village fool had spoiled it for him! Now when he was alone, all he could think of was Joxer.  
  
What he'd said in his daily prayers. What he had done during the day. How many times he'd stumbled and wasn't that fewer times than yesterday. And did Xena protect him from bullies? Maybe he should check in, just to be sure…  
  
  
  
  
  
You, who stole my solitude  
  
The most precious thing I owned  
  
I never will forgive you  
  
  
  
No! He had a war to plan and people to kill. He didn't have time for this.  
  
But Joxer would be so happy to see him… Giving him that joyful smile and then kisses. Wonderful intoxicating kisses. Kisses that had the power of making him, a *God*, dizzy.  
  
Yes, Joxer was like a drug. And he always yearned for more.  
  
At first he'd thought it was only an itch that needed scratching. So he'd taken the wannabe warrior to his bed. For a week they'd fucked their brains out. Who would've thought Joxer was so good in bed? After that week Ares had dropped Joxer off near Xena's camp and had thought that that was the end of that. But he'd been wrong. So wrong.  
  
It didn't end the hunger; it only sedated it for a while. And for every meeting, every time they made love, the time he was content without Joxer got shorter and shorter. The love making only made the craving worse. He couldn't resist it. He couldn't control it. And he was War, damn it! He was always in control! This was not tolerable.  
  
Wherever he went, he saw Joxer. When he closed his eyes, he saw Joxer. In his dreams there was only Joxer. Food didn't taste good unless Joxer was there and then it tasted like ambrosia.  
  
And to make things worse, he'd realized that he wanted to get to know Joxer. That he actually could sit and listen to the man for hours without demanding sex and being extremely content with the fact that Joxer was just *there*.  
  
  
  
You, who barricade my streets  
  
Who leave me no retreat  
  
Who haunt me in my sleep  
  
And bitter what I eat  
  
You,  
  
- Say what did you expect?  
  
For a person who's infected  
  
my association paths  
  
- Did you expect a lovesong?  
  
  
  
It was Joxer's fault. It had to be. He'd done something to him. Probably with the help of Cupid or Aphrodite. Cause it wasn't true love. He didn't do that crap. Someone must have put him under a spell, and one day that someone would suffer greatly. Stealing his appreciation for solitude…This was unforgivable!  
  
It had to be Joxer's fault. Joxer with his loving eyes and big smile. Joxer with his wonderful pale and slim body. Joxer with those long thin fingers who could make him scream of pleasure…  
  
Ares threw one last fireball at the wall and went to find Joxer. There was this play in Athens he was sure Joxer would love to see.  
  
  
  
You, who stole my solitude  
  
The most precious thing I owned  
  
I never will forgive you  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
